I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We left the knife in your bed.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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