Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
