At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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