An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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