im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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