what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize