It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize