I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
