I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
