Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What drink are we having for lunch?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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