Do you still have your period?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
