I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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