Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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