i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize