i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
