My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
