Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
