She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
