I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
