Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize