I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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