yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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