In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize