I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
