Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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