At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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