i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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