so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
