dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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