they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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