And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
