I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
