Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
worst night to have a conscience
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
