But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
