woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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