def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
