Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize