my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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