just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
