bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
