I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
