Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
