Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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