After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
