My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
