We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
