So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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