Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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