My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
