12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
