I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
