So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
