You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
then he tried to convert me to islam
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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