Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The power of my boobs compel you
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
