when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
