All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
