his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
