No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
