woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
