Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
