i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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