wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
