I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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