He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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