i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
