You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No subtext here. People are naked.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
