I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I party with great urgency now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
