I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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