Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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