She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize