I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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