so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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