I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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