so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
