Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You dont lie about slip and slides
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
