so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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