dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
