Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
