i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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