I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize