you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
