he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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