i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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