Whod you bang
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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