The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
