1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
