woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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