Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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