ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
is that a dick in a sweater?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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