break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize