don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
