is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
